The Church of Feminist Orthodoxy

Hello, my name is KK, and I (drumroll, please) am a feminist.

Have you said this to anyone? Or have you had someone say this to you? It is quite interesting to me how people respond to feminists, and I would love to hear your experiences. Surprisingly (to me, anyway), most people seem to backpedal. To these people, I tell them that they are feminists too, but they just do not know how to say it. There are many, many different kinds of feminism, but I would assume that most people today in NZ do believe that a sane, adult women should be able to have a bank account without her husband's consent, for example. After that, it is all a matter of degrees. I think that maybe people secretly think that only crony witches and butch lesbians can be feminists. Well, my darlings, THAT IS NOT TRUE. (VOTE NOW: if it is, which one am I? *Wink wink.*)

But I can understand, in a way. A writer (I forget her name, which is terrible of me - if anyone knows, please tell me so I can credit her as is her due) posed an interesting thought experiment. I am sorry that this is highly prejudiced, but it works for me because of my own personal prejudices, and I imagine that would ring true to many of you too. This is the thought experiment: imagine that your partner came home one day, and without any warning, said to you, "Honey, I've decided to become a Jehovah's Witness". If you are not a Jehovah's Witness and is in fact an agnostic (or simply not Christian) like myself, you might feel confused and afraid. I would be. I would not know how much this would change my relationship with that person. Would this newly found but profound belief make this person like me less? It might. Would I have to guard myself against proselytising? I would. Would I now not say things that I normally would as not to offend? I would.

It is a perilous thing, telling people what you believe in. Especially if there is a name to it; naming gives the thing a power and a boundary. No one knows where this boundary lies exactly, and crossing it can seem treacherous. And I can understand the fear. I used to be a member of the "I'm not feminist, but..." school of feminism myself. But part of becoming a self-identified feminist is to navigate this boundary land, and also to realise that this boundary is blurry and numerous.

Being a feminist is a big part of my identity. To me, being a feminist is even more important than being a woman and an immigrant. It is who I am, rather than what I am. It is a definition of how I think and act, transcendent of biology and personal history. I hold it close to my heart.

Yet, I am still scared. I imagine this great big Church of Feminist Orthodoxy (it is a tall ivory castle with mysteriously red-robed figures peaking out the towers in my mind). And there are these Feminist Police (they are scary but glamourous women in leather corsets, with whips) who will one day round me up, chuck me in a carriage (pulled by My Little Ponies, who seem sinister in their impossible cheeriness), and there will be a Great Feminist Inquisition. And they will find me wanting, because I know I am not a perfect feminist and I know I am wrong sometimes (really, most times), and chuck me unceremoniously into a den of wolves, or even worse, Furbies (they will have sharp little teeth, as well as cameras, and my ugly demise will be twittered live, to be dissected on Facebook later). The sisters of FP will brush their meticulously manicured hands (like how my hands never are, however I might try), and say, "Good riddance for bad rubbish" and fly away laughing, glistening in the sun on their magnificent ponies.

You know what? This is actually not going to happen. It is not going to happen to me, and it is not going to happen to YOU, my dears. Yes, people are going to disagree, maybe even viciously. But in truth, they can be, and are, as wrong as you and me. And still more will respect you for your courage. And who knows? Maybe you will change your ideas, refine it, grow a little more, and be a better person for it.

I am saying all this to encourage other burgeoning feminists, to express themselves. Because we need you. I need you. Feminism is not some dusty fact of past history, and it is not just an academic study. It is a movement that concerns each and every one of us in the world, and it is a necessity. There are so many things to be done. So. Many. Just look around, and pick and choose. So fly, fly my lovelies, and be the change that you want to see in the world (hee, always wanted to quote that - I know it is unavoidably wanky, but frak it, I like it).

And also a word to established feminists out there: play nice. And be kind. And understanding. Nurture us, we are more friends than foe. Because love is more powerful than hate, and it will only make us stronger.

With love,
KK.

PS. This is also a shameless plug for someone, anyone, to read my blog other than my two wonderful friends, and comment on or to contribute to it.