Dinner is not barter system for sex, it is dinner.

Just in case you were wondering.

This is why I have always gone Dutch. I am proud to say that I owe my ex not a cent. More than one person has said that this makes me a fool. What was the point of having sex and doing housework if I did not get something out of it? Fact: I enjoy sex. Fact: I did no more housework than my ex (less, if you believe in the mythology). A commentator has once mentioned, quite intending to be helpful (to me) I am sure, that my ex should “propose to that girl, she will do more housework for you.” Really. I would be so moved with gratitude that I would become commit my life to servitude. If wishes were fishes…

It is reality, however, that men do earn more than women. My ex has always made more money than me. Per hour, I should add. For some of the time, I did make more money overall, but only because I worked so many more hours than he. The present job market favours men, as well as masculine skills. So in this social climate, is it not correct that the man pay more than the woman in heterosexual relationships?

Maybe they should. I am reluctant, but I am willing to admit that there are good arguments for and against this. What it should never, ever, represent is a barter system for sex. No one, no man nor woman, should pressure sex as a payment for dinner paid. There is a clear delineation between economics of the thing, and the sexual aspect. These should not be confused with one another, or let it meld into one.

I personally believe in discussing sex before it happens. What it means to you might not mean what it means to them. If there is open communication, presumably there will be fewer disappointments down the road. Talk to your partners and potential partners about money and about sex.

So, um, does anybody want to buy me dinner? I would like that a lot.

$$$,

KK.